Non-technical Technical Support People Reading from a Script

by Dave Stevenson
(St. Petersburg, FL, USA)

I absolutely go crazy whenever I have to deal with a so-called "technical support" specialist who obviously doesn't have a technical bone in his or her body!

For example, my laptop computer (from a well-known brandname) started having problems where the video screen went completely blank. I could use the computer if I attached it to an external monitor. I decided to try to get it repaired under warranty, so I entered the live chat area on the support site and stated my problem.

This started a sad affair -- over two hours of back and forth chatting which at times bordered on insanity. Actually to call it chatting is not quite accurate. It was more like two or three back and forth comments followed by "hold on --be right back" and then a wait sometimes of up to 10 minutes before another non-logical question was asked.

Here's why this was so bad.

I'm a technical person myself and I clearly explained exactly what the problem was. When I booted up the computer, the built-in laptop screen would come on for approximately 1.5 minutes, then it would flicker, then it would go dead. I told her that it happened every time, even if I booted up in "safe mode."

I told her that the problem was completely reproducible, and I asked for an immediate return authorization since the warranty was about to expire in three days.

No, instead she put me through her "script" of what to try (turn off, remove the battery, reinsert the battery, reboot again -- turn off, remove the memory chip, reinsert, reboot -- and on and on...). These episodes were usually followed by long pauses while she supposedly decided what to do next (but I think probably she went to the restroom, went for a smoke, chatted with co-workers, played a game).

Finally, at about the 1.5 hour point, she agreed that it should be returned under warranty for repair. "Good," I said. "Send me the box, please." Another long pause. Then, a sales pitch for upgrading to an extended warranty!

"I don't want an extended warranty," I shouted through the keyboard. "I want you to authorize the repair, give me the authorization number, and send the box out right away so I can send the computer in for repair."

Another long pause.

She then said, "But by the time it gets to the repair facility your warranty will have expired. You really need to get the extended warranty."

By this time, my wife was noticing how hard I was hitting the keys as I responded.

Only after I asked to speak to a supervisor (followed by another long pause) did she respond that she had logged in the repair under warranty and was sending the box. When I asked again for the return authorization code, she tried to sell the extended warranty one more time, but finally gave up and gave me the number.

Apart from the obvious frustation to customers of being "put through a script" by non-technical people, customer service / technical support people should NEVER be put into a position of selling extended warranties (probably on commission) because the conflict of interest almost completely insures that the customer service experience will be bad.